Ughh. Things are not going well. Everything is a big mess.. and no one around me is the wiser.
Today was a complete fail.
I consumed half an 18" pizza and 5 garlic knots.
Purged everything.
Drank some seltzer to settle.
Ate half a ny strip, a whole package of idahoin instant potatoes and half a large can of corn.
Purged everything..
Potatoes are easy, the pizza and garlic, not so much.. why does it feel so.good.to over stuff my face and force it all out again? It sounds sick, but even the flavors make me feel better.
I think this problem is beyond repair.
I have a shoot in less than three weeks. I need to spend less time with MIA and hang out with ANA a bit more till then... But i know ill need some drugs.. my will power is awful lately, I've become terribly weak.
I had a dream about SI last night.. how come even in my dreams it feels so relieving?
<3
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