..I'm not exactly in the mood for a lengthy update. The last two were pretty thorough, so imma cut myself some slack tonight and just touch on the basics of my rainy ass Monday. Well regardless of the fact that the boyfrann is a lying little liar.. I've been trying to overlook it today and have been focusing on all the wonderful ways he treats me, and how I am lucky to have him for my own. I mean everyone has their faults.. and let's face it.. honesty is not a quality most men have.. and i cant crucify him for his lacking when there are so many things about him that make him one of the best persons that has ever come into my life. 'nuffs said, I'm over it. For now.
As for the brick wall I have been hitting with my weight. I crumbled that piece of shit barrier today. wo0t!! ::does victory dance:: I am officially 110.2 today. In your face, stupid scale! Okay, okay, I know its only.. .8, but its still a hurdle that I've been working on for almost a week. Now the next challenge is hanging onto that number and not binge. Which is another thing I've been really proud of, I haven't binged in a week and a half. This is definitely the longest I have gone in quite a while.
So let's recap:
-hit a goal weight marker.
-haven't binged in record days.
-haven't self injured in a month and a half.
I'd say, aside from the drug usage and smoking, I've been kicking some goal ass! .and I'm kinda proud of my self. My stomach doesn't enrage me so much lately either. I haven't been bloated in a while.. god I fucking hate how my period and binging makes my gut expand. =\ but I'm not thinking about that today. Today is a positive day. Well, kinda. Haha.
So is was outside today working on my poses through yoga and runway today to try and prepare myself for the photoshoot.. and for slate modeling, and I was kind of meditating, or at least reeaaallyyy stuck in my head because when I finally opened my eyes and came back to reality it was fucking pouring rain hella bad. It was a weird experience.
Well i tried not to ramble too much tonight.. or this morning, or whatever. Stay focused loves.
<3K
Ahhhh way to crash through the barrier! 110??? Gaaahhh I'm so jealous! .8 is a lot! Don't ever say it isn't much! I'm.seriously so proud of you for trying to not dwell on your boyfriend and for not cutting. Your doing so fantastic!! :)
ReplyDeleteYay no bingeing or self-injuring! I know how hard that is, being both a binger and a cutter myself. I never know whether or not to congratulate people on their weight goals... But I guess I'm happy if you're happy! Just be careful, ok?
ReplyDeleteStay positive! It helps :)